When is the right time to have a baby? I don't think there is a right time and is it normal to have such mixed emotions.
After lengthly discussions we decided as we were both close on 33 it was time to start trying for a baby as we were not getting any younger. I had come off the pill a year earlier just to make sure that it was out of my system but we were very careful not to get pregnant. We had come to the conclusion that it would never be the right time to have a baby as you would always think of some reason as to why to put it off. Age was not on our side though and we had no idea as to how long it would take us to get pregnant.
We had a lot of visitors around the time we decided to try so could not get down to business. The night we decided to go for it was the night we conceived.
My period was due and my periods have always been regular. I was a day late. I told Alex that I was a day late and wanted to get a pregnancy test. I knew at that point I was pregnant. It was instinct. He thought I was wasting money and could not believe I thought I was pregnant. He was convinced that at our age it would take more than one time for me to become pregnant.
I went and bought the test and did it. I came down stairs and showed Alex the positive test. Alex was thrilled he had a grin from ear to ear, I burst into tears. Then went back upstairs and did a second test to double check. That was also positive.
I had wanted a baby all my life. I played with dolls as a child, I grew up wanting lots of children and now faced with the reality of having one I freaked out. How could I be a mother? Was I capable of being a mother? Could we afford it? Was the business going well enough for me to give up work? Oh dear so many emotions. After the first emotions had set in, deep down I was really thrilled.
My emotions were all over the place, one minute I was thrilled the next minute I was scared senseless. I did feel from the bottom of my heart that it was a miracle it really was but it was hard to shift the few negative feelings I had.
The emotional roller coaster went on for a couple of weeks but was soon over and the feelings of gratitude and joy replaced the early negative feelings.
I always thought that when it happened I would feel perfectly ready for a baby as that is what I had always wanted but when it actually happened I was full of emotions. I was totally unprepared for the anxious scared feelings and the emotional roller coaster.
The midwife and doctor assured me that it was normal as a womans hormones are all over the place especially in the first few weeks of pregnancy. I must say this made me feel a bit better and as each day went by I thanked my lucky stars that I was able to get pregnant naturally. After the first couple of weeks your emotions start to calm down, well mine did and I was absolutely thrilled to be pregnant.
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